A Flood Of Emotions Rushes Into Me.

Half Of Them Kept Repeating My Name, Trying To Get It Right, While The Other Half Laughed. But They Were Harmless. Fun Drunks Make A Nice Addition To Any Party: Not Looking To Fight. Not Looking To Score. Just Looking To Get Drunk And Laugh. I Remember Those Guys. Like The Mascots Of The Party. "clay! Whatcha Doon Here? Bah-ha-ha-ha!

Maybe It Didn’t Seem Like A Big Deal To You Zach. But Now, I Hope You Understand. My World Was Collapsing. I Needed Those Notes. I Needed Any Hope Those Notes Might Have Offered. And You? You Took That Hope Away. You Decided I Didn’t Deserve To Have It.

I Wanted People To Trust Me, Despite Anything They'd Heard. And More Than That, I Wanted Them To Know Me. Not The Stuff They Thought They Knew About Me. No, The Real Me. I Wanted Them To Get Past The Rumors. To See Beyond The Relationships I Once Had, Or Maybe Still Had But That They Didn't Agree With.

I Tried Getting My Dad To Buy Me A Beeper For My Birthday,” He Says, “but He Thinks Only Doctors And Drug Dealers Need Them.

I Wanted To Tell You Everything. And That Hurt Because Some Things Were Too Scary. Some Things Even I Didn’t Understand. How Could I Tell Someone—someone I Was Really Talking To For The First Time—everything I Was Thinking? I Couldn’t. It Was Too Soon.