A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A

I Don't Know How Electricity Works. All I Know Is That It Calms Me.

I Love To Go Down To The Schoolyard And Watch All The Little Children Jump Up And Down And Run Around Yelling And Screaming. They Don't Know I'm Only Using Blanks.

I'm Not A Republican... But I Am Saving Up To Be One.

When I Was A Kid, My Nickname Was Mr. Baseball. Because Of The Stitches.

I Got A Letter From The Irs. Apparently I Owe Them $800. So I Sent Them A Letter Back. I Said, If You'll Remember, I Fastened My Return With A Paper Clip, Which According To Your Very Own Latest Government Pentagon Spending Figures Will More Than Make Up For The Difference.