A Friend Of Mine That I Was

Being An American Is Something I Wanted To Be For A Very Long Time, Probably Since I Saw The Moon Landing When I Was A Child.

I Come From A Very Critical Culture. You Know The Scots. They're Always Saying: 'oh, No. It Will Never Work. You'll Never Amount To Anything. You've Got To Know Your Place In The World.

Scientists Say Over The Next Hundred Years, The Coast Of California Will Sink Almost Five Feet. So The Presidential Candidates Need To Do Something. Mitt Romney Is Conflicted. On One Hand, He Denies That Global Warming Exists. But If California Is Under Water, He Would Definitely Win The Next Election.

If You're Frightened Of Leprechauns, The Best Thing To Do Is To Get Yourself A Little Leprechaun Outfit And See How Big They Are. And Then You'll Go, 'well I See. That's Like Bein' Frightened Of A Hampster.'

There's Something I Believe Wholeheartedly: Cynicism Is The True Refuge Of The Pseudo-intellectual, .. Cynicism Is Easy. Joy Is An Extremely Advanced Spiritual And Intellectual Tenet.