A Lot Of People Don't Know What

Boys Who Spent Their Weekends Making Banana Nut Muffins Did Not, As A Rule, Excel In The Art Of Hand-to-hand Combat.

I Gave My Mother A Matching Set [of Mugs] For Christmas, And She Accepted Them As Graciously As Possible, Announcing That They Would Make The Perfect Pet Bowls. The Mugs Were Set On The Kitchen Floor And Remained There Until The Cat Chipped A Tooth And Went On A Hunger Strike.

Their House Had Real Hardcover Books In It, And You Often Saw Them Lying Open On The Sofa, The Words Still Warm From Being Read.

In Books And Movies Infidelity Always Looks So Compelling, So Right. Here Are People Who Defy Petty Convention And Are Rewarded With Only The Tastiest Bits Of Human Experience.

High School Taught Me A Valuable Lesson About Glasses: Don't Wear Them. Contacts Have Always Seemed Like Too Much Work, So Instead I Just Squint, Figuring That If Something Is More Than Ten Feet Away, I'll Just Deal With It When I Get There.