A Lot Of People My Age Think

The Problem Is There's A New Group. I'm Talking About This Tiny Slice Of People That Have Gotten Way Too Fired Up About The Trump Thing For The Wrong Reasons. I'm Talking About These People That As Soon As Trump Won, They're Like, We Don't Have To Pretend Like We're Not Racist Anymore. We Don't Have To Pretend Anymore. We Can Be Racist Again. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, No, No. If You're One Of These People, Please Go Back To Pretending.

I Strapped An Mp3 Player To One Of Those Floor-cleaning Robots. Call Him Dj Roomba - Little Guy Cruises Around And Plays Music. What's Hot, Dj Roomba!

I Was Surprised To Learn That Research Showed Arranged Couples Tended To Be Happier In The Long Run.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

One Of The Big Things I Miss About New York Is Not My Friends So Much; It's Shake Shack, The Burger Place. I Miss Shake Shack.