A Lot Of Writing Is A Form

It Was One Of Those Days When Every Time I Went To Go Out The Door, Something Grabbed Me In The Back Of The Brain And Said, Lie Down And Masturbate One More Time.

How Terrible To Be Alcoholic. You Just Want To Quietly Soothe And Maybe Poison Yourself, But You End Up Poisoning Those Around You As Well, Like Trying To Commit Suicide With A Gas Oven And Unwittingly Murdering Your Neighbors.

I Don't Like Rides. I Take Everything In Life Quite Literally, And So I Genuinely Feel Terrified On Rides And Liable To Vomit At Any Moment, And I Hate To Vomit Even More Than I Fear Rides. So, All This To Say, I Don't Have A Favorite Ride. I Don't Go On Rides. Well, That's Not True. A Few Years Ago I Had A Beautiful, Romantic Moment On The Ferris Wheel At Coney Island, Known As The Wonder Wheel, And So I Guess That's My Favorite Ride, Though Even That, To Be Frank, Terrified Me.

People Don't Expect Too Much From Literature. They Just Want To Know They're Not Alone With Being Confused.

Having A Show Get Canceled Is Like, 'oh, You Have Caviar Between Your Teeth,' You Know What I Mean? Because You Had A Show In The First Place.