A New Child In The House Is

Our Date-nightrule Is No Talking About The Kids. That Lasts About To The End Of The Driveway.

There's Something That Happens In That Delivery Room, When A Woman Becomes Ten Times More A Woman, And A Guy Becomes Six Times Less A Man. You Feel Really Dopey And Useless And Like A Spectator. I Did, Anyway.

So Where Did These Cravings Come From? I Concluded It's The Baby Ordering In. Prenatal Takeout. Even Without Ever Being In A Restaurant, Fetuses Develop Remarkably Discerning Palates, And They Are Not Shy About Demanding What They Want. If They Get A Hankering, They Just Pick Up The Umbilical Cord And Call. 'you Know What Would Taste Good Right Now? A Cheeseburger, Large Fries, And A Vanilla Shake. And If You Could, Hurry It Up, Because I'm Supposed To Grow A Lung In A Half Hour.'

We Had The Boy's Name Picked Out, But We Didn't Have A Girl's. When He Turned Out To Be A Boy, We Were So Relieved. Literally, In The Middle Of Contracting And Pushing, And With My Wife Being Drugged - Out And Half - Lucid, We Were Still Coming Up With Names.

If A Tree Falls On Your Head In A Forest And No One Hears It, It Still Hurts.