A Newspaper Is A Circulating Library With

An Empty Cab Drove Up And Sarah Bernhardt Got Out.

If You Do Big Things They Print Your Face, And If You Do Little Things They Print Only Your Thumbs.

[history Is] Petrified Imagination.

A Good Neighbor Is A Fellow Who Smiles At You Over The Back Fence, But Doesn't Climb Over It.

His Insomnia Was So Bad, He Couldn't Sleep During Office Hours.