A Survey Has Shown That The Average

Tonight Was The Cnn Primary Debate With The Four Remaining Candidates. It Was Kind Of A Change For Newt Gingrich. Usually When He's Arguing With Three People At Once, It's His Wife, His Ex-wife, And His Mistress.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Blaming Man For Global Warming. And Today, Al Gore Agreed With Him. That's So Typical. Two Cyborgs, 'oh, Let's Blame The Humans.'

Last Night, John Mccain Said That Under The Democratic Health Care Plan, A Bureaucrat Would Stand Between You And Your Doctor, As Opposed To The Republican Health Care Plan, Where An Accountant Would Stand Between You And Your Health Care.

In Greece, The Unemployment Rate Has Risen To 22%. The Solution To The Problem Was To Raise Taxes On The Rich, According To The Greek President Barack Obama-opolis.

The First Case Of Mad Cow Disease Since 2006 Was Discovered Right Here In The United States. The Good News, Since The Cow Is In California, Instead Of Putting The Cow Down, They Are Going To Enroll Him In Anger Management Classes.