A Thief Believes Everybody Steals.

About All Some Men Accomplish In Life Is To Send A Son To Harvard.

One Trouble With Growing Old Is That It Gets Progressively Tougher To Find A Famous Historical Figure, Who Didn't Amount To Much When He Was Your Age.

Men Have As Exaggerated An Idea Of Their Rights As Women Have Of Their Wrongs.

When A Man Dies, And His Kin Are Glad Of It, They Say, "he Is Better Off."

The Feeling Of Sleepiness When You Are Not In Bed, And Can't Get There, Is The Meanest Feeling In The World.