A Woman Is Like Beer. They Look

Never! Never, Marge! I Can't Live The Button-down Life Like You. I Want It All: The Terrifying Lows, The Dizzying Highs, The Creamy Middles! Sure, I Might Offend A Few Of The Bluenoses With My Cocky Stride And Musky Odors -- Oh, I'll Never Be The Darling Of The So-called 'city Fathers' Who Cluck Their Tongues, Stroke Their Beards, And Talk About "what's To Be Done With This Homer Simpson?!

I Don't Have To Be Careful, I've Got A Gun.

America's Health Care System Is Second Only To Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, Well ... All Of Europe. But You Can Thank Your Lucky Starts We Don't Live In Paraguay!

Humor Does Depend On Surprise, And The Things That People Remember As The Funniest Things In The World, You Look At Later And You Go, "what? What Was That All About?"

The Conundrum That I Face On A Daily Basis Is That I Have Two Sons Who Have Grown Up Watching 'the Simpsons,' So They Know Exactly What Buttons To Push. They Know How Bart Irritates Homer, And They Use These Lines Against Me To Tell Me That I'm Not Funny Anymore.