According To A Survey In This Week's

The Games Haven't Even Started Yet And Already There Are People Complaining About The Horrible Accommodations At The Sochi Olympic Village. Toilets Don't Flush. The Faucets Spew Discolored Water. They Say It's Like Being On A Royal Caribbean Cruise.

Romney Raised $10 Million. That’s A Dollar For Every Position He’s Had On Healthcare.

Ratings For The Xfl Are So Low That Pretty Soon They'll Be Able To Address The Viewers By Name.

Former Vice President Al Gore Starring In A New Documentary About Global Warming. I Believe It's Called [leno Snores]. ... The Film Actually Features Al Gore And Explores His Journey On How He First Got Interested In Temperature Change. It Started Back When He Was Vice President. He Noticed How The Temperature Would Change, Like Whenever Bill Would Walk Into The Room, It Would Get Warm And Whenever Hillary Walked Into The Room, It Got Cold.

U.n. Officials Said Today They Desperately Need $7 Billion To Help People Cope With Disasters, But They're Having A Hard Time Getting People To Send Rescue Money. Here's What The Un Should Do: Invest In Bad Mortgages, Run A Bank Into The Ground, Give Yourself A Bonus, Get Some Spa Treatments And, In No Time, The Government Will Send You $750 Billion.