After A Lifetime Of Silence, It Is

And Yet You Are All That You Have, So You Must Be Enough. There Is No Other Way.

The Problem Is That You Don't Just Choose Recovery. You Have To Keep Choosing Recovery, Over And Over And Over Again. You Have To Make That Choice 5-6 Times Each Day. You Have To Make That Choice Even When You Really Don't Want To. It's Not A Single Choice, And It's Not Easy.

Starvation Is Incredibly Frightening When It Finally Sets In With A Vengeance. And When It Does,you Are Surprised. You Hadn't Meant This. You Say: Wait, Not This. And Then It Sucks You Under And You Drown.

I Developed A Deep, Abiding Fear Of Jeans, Which I Still Have. I Hold My Breath And Shut My Eyes When I Pull On A Pair In The Dressing Room, Afraid They Will Now, As Then, Get Stuck At My Hips And There I Will Stand, Absurd, Staring At The Excess Of Hips That Should, If I Were A Good Person, Be „slim“.

My Students Know I Have A Life, They Know I've Written About My Life. They Know Some Detail, Probably More Than They Know About Their Physics Teacher, But I Would've Told Them Anyway!