All I Ever Learned At My Mother's

I'll Never Forget My First Fur. It Was A Modest Little Stole. Modest? People Thought I Was Wearing Anchovies.

I've Tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, T'ai Chi, Feng Shui And Deepak Chopra But I Find Straight Gin Works Best.

I Should Have Suspected My Husband Was Lazy. On Our Wedding Day, His Mother Told Me: "i'm Not Losing A Son; I'm Gaining A Couch."

Maybe It's True That Life Begins At Fifty. But Everything Else Starts To Wear Out, Fall Out, Or Spread Out.

Remember There Is No Way You Can Give The Father Custody Of The Children Without Getting A Divorce.