All I Ever Learned At My Mother's

Let Me Tell You, A Discussion That Starts, 'i'll Tell You Something You Do That Irritates Me, If You Tell Me Something I Do That Bothers You,' Never Ends In A Hug And A Kiss.

Old Age Is When The Liver Spots Show Through Your Gloves.

A Stand-up Comic Is Judged By Every Line. Singers Get Applause At The End Of Their Song No Matter How Bad They Are.

Life Began On This Planet When The First Amoeba Split. Mankind Will Still Be Seeking God, Not Accepting That God Is A Spirit; Can't See It, Touch It, Only Feel It. It's Called Love.

Self-pity Is Better Than None.