I Played A Killer Twice. Once On

[my Mother] Once Cooked A Ham And Later Found It In My Father's Shirt Drawer. I Am Not Kidding.

I Was The Class Clown, You Know, That Kind Of Thing, And I Gathered Around Me A Group Of Guys Who Also Were Silly. I Was In All The Plays And Everything. But I Don't Know, At That Time Show Businesses Looked Like The Moon, You Know, It Was So Far Away. I Wanted To Be A Radio Announcer.

Bob Hope, Like Mark Twain, Had A Sense Of Humor That Was Uniquely American, And Like Twain, We'll Likely Not See Another Like Him.

I Never Wanted To Be An Actor And To This Day I Don`t. I Can`t Get A Handle On It. An Actor Wants To Become Someone Else. I Am A Song-and-dance Man And I Enjoy Being Myself, Which Is All I Can Do.

There's A Lot Of Very Funny People I'd Love To Work With That I've Never Met, Of Course. I Love Steve Martin And Jim Carrey.