Almost Everybody I Know Has Died,” Grandma

[stephanie] 'you See, Mrs. Mayer Was Going On About George's Lodge, And How He Wanted To Be Buried With His Ring, And So Grandma Had To Check The Ring Out, And In The Process Broke Off One Of George's Fingers. Turns Out The Finger Was Wax. Somehow Kenny Got Into The Mortuary This Morning, Left Spiro A Note, And Chopped Off George's Finger. And Then While I Was At The Mall Tonight With Mary Lou, Kenny Threatened Me In The Shoe Department. That Must Have Been When He Put The Finger In My Pocket.' [morelli] 'have You Been Drinking?

Some People Learn From Books, Some Listen To The Advice Of Others, Some Learn From Mistakes. I Fit Into The Last Category. So Sue Me.

I Took All Of My Rejection Letters - There Must Have Been Thousands Of Them In A Huge Box - And I Went Out On The Curb And Burned Them All, Crying.

I Rushed Us Out Of Your Parents' House Because I Didn't Think I Could Manage Two Hours At The Dinner Table With Everyone Focused On Joe Loosey's Joystick Sitting In The Refrigerator Next To The Applesauce.

I Don't Need Handcuffs To Enslave A Woman.