An Oxymoron? What's That? A Moron Who

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead.

I'm Often Asked, "what Is Your Favorite Moment During The 30 Years You Hosted [the Tonight Show]?" I Really Don't Have Just One. The Times I Enjoyed The Most Were The Spontaneous, Unplanned Segments That Just Happened, Like Ed Ames' Infamous "tomahawk Toss" That Produced One Of The Longest Laughs In Television History. When These Lucky Moments Happen, You Just Go With Them And Enjoy The Experience And High Of The Moment.

Thanksgiving Is An Emotional Holiday. People Travel Thousands Of Miles To Be With People They Only See Once A Year. And Then Discover Once A Year Is Way Too Often.

Happiness Is.....finding Two Olives In Your Martini When Youre Hungry.

You Become Successful, The Way I See It, Only If You're Good Enough To Deliver What The Public Enjoys. If You're Not, You Won't Have Any Audience; So The Performer Really Has More To Do With His Success Than The Public Does.