An Oxymoron? What's That? A Moron Who

Nancy Reagan Fell Down And Broke Her Hair.

Happiness Is Seeing Your Son Drafted The Same Day He's Been Accepted To An Expensive College.

He's So Fat, He Can Be His Own Running Mate.

Democracy Is The Eagle On The Back Of A Dollar Bill, With 13 Arrows In One Claw, 13 Leaves On A Branch, 13 Tail Feathers, And 13 Stars Over Its Head - This Signifies That When The White Man Came To This Country, It Was Bad Luck For The Indians, Bad Luck For The Trees, Bad Luck For The Wildlife, And Lights Out For The American Eagle.

The Best Way To Thaw A Frozen Turkey? Blow In It's Ear.