And I Spilled Gravy On My Carolina

Women Intrinsically Understand Human Dynamics, And That Makes Them Unstoppable. Unfortunately, The Average Man Is Less Adroit At Fostering Such Rivalries, Which Is Why Most Men Remain Average; Males Are Better At Hating Things That Can't Hate Them Back (e.g., Lawnmowers, Cats, The Denver Broncos, Et Cetera). They Don't See The Big Picture.

I Was Fortunate That I Was At Newspapers For Eight Years, Where I Wrote At Least Five Or Six Stories Every Week. You Get Used To Interviewing Lots Of Different People About A Lot Of Different Things. And They Aren't Things You Know About Until You Do The Story.

Coldplay Songs Deliver An Amorphous, Irrefutable Interpretation Of How Being In Love Is Supposed To Feel, And People Find Themselves Wanting That Feeling For Real. They Want Men To Adore Them Like Lloyd Dobler Would, And They Want Women To Think Like Aimee Mann, And They Expect All Their Arguments To Sound Like Sam Malone And Diane Chambers. They Think Everything Will Work Out Perfectly In The End (just Like It Did For Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones And Nick Hornby's Rob Fleming), And They Don't Stop Believing Because Journey's Steve Perry Insists We Should Never Do That.

Styx And The Stones May Break My Bones But 'more Than Words' Will Never Hurt Me

[on Political Correctness:] Any Intended Message Mattered Less Than The Received Message, And Every Received Message Could Be Interpreted In Whatever Way The Receiver Wanted.