Another Tea-time, Another Day Older.

When I Was A Young Boy, I Preferred Cats To Dogs. From The Age Of Seven Or Eight Onwards I Just Felt More Comfortable With Cats. And I Felt More Comfortable With Girls, I Didn't Really Like Hanging Out With Guys. When I Was About Ten Or Eleven, I Was Friendlier With The Girls In My School Than With The Guys.

Just Once I Would Like To Persuade The Audience Not To Wear Any Article Of Blue Denim. If Only They Could See Themselves In A Pair Of Brown Corduroys Like Mine Instead Of This Awful, Boring Blue Denim.

I Feel The Audience Has A Right To Know If Some Of The Money They're Spending Is Going To A Certain Cause, And Reassuring Them The Money Is Going To Where It's Supposed To Be Going.

I Can Never Make Up My Mind If I'm Happy Being A Flute Player, Or If I Wish I Were Eric Clapton.

I'm Really Terrible With Small Children; They're Small, Noisy, Irritating, Damp And Soggy.