Another Term For Balloon Is Bad Breath

I Travel Alone So Much, And The First Thought Is To Grab The Damn Phone. In Airports, Just Look Around. Nobody Looks At Anybody, Or Even Out The Window. It's Obvious We Can't Live Without It Anymore, And As A Comic On The Road The Phone Is An Essential Tool. It's Probably Doing More Good Than Bad For Me, But It Does Make Me Sad That Those Of Us Who Grew Up Without Mobile Phones, We Know What We're Missing.

I'm In A Weird Position, Because I Like Rainbows, But I'm Not Gay. So Whenever I Go Out Wearing A Rainbow Shirt, I Have To Put "not Gay." But I'm Not Against Gays, So Under That I'll Have To Put "... But Supportive." It's Weird How One Group Of People Took Refracted Light. That's Very Greedy, Gays.

Usually My Favorite Joke Is Whichever Joke I Most Recently Came Up With That Surprised Me The First Time I Thought Of It.

When Watering Your Plants, Try To Talk To Them - Say Something Like, Hold It Right There And Then Shoot Them With Water Gun.

I Can Tell How Lonely I Am By How Easily I'm Fooled By A Mannequin In A Store.