Any Misfortune That Happens To Another Person

People Have Many Theories About Comedy, But Being Just Plain Funny Is The One Most Important Thing.

I Would Show Up At A Party For Al Qaeda If You Said There's Going To Be A Dinner.

I'm Terrible When I Have To Fill Up Free Time. My Days, If I'm Not Working, I Wake Up And Figure Out A Way To Kill Time Until It's Time To Go To Sleep.

I'm Eventually Gonna Take The Daryl Hannah Parts.

I Sincerely Apologize To Anyone Who Was Offended By My Attempt At Humor Regarding The Tragedy In Japan. I Meant No Disrespect, And My Thoughts Are With The Victims And Their Families.