As A Child, I Wanted To Be

I Promote My Own Self-hatred.

I Don't Like Rides. I Take Everything In Life Quite Literally, And So I Genuinely Feel Terrified On Rides And Liable To Vomit At Any Moment, And I Hate To Vomit Even More Than I Fear Rides. So, All This To Say, I Don't Have A Favorite Ride. I Don't Go On Rides. Well, That's Not True. A Few Years Ago I Had A Beautiful, Romantic Moment On The Ferris Wheel At Coney Island, Known As The Wonder Wheel, And So I Guess That's My Favorite Ride, Though Even That, To Be Frank, Terrified Me.

The Reason It's Hard For Me To Tweet Is I Don't Want To Pronounce Anything, And Twitter Is For Pronouncing.

Personally, I've Never Had It As A Goal In Life To Be Happy. Seems Impossible To Achieve. Even The Declaration Of Independence Seems To Acknowledge This. They Talk About The Pursuit Of Happiness, Not Happiness Itself.

I Hid My Underwear Beneath A Parked Peugeot.