As I Looked Out Into The Night

I Would Much Prefer To Be A Judge Than A Coal Miner Because Of The Absence Of Falling Coal.

I Am Blind -- But I Am Able To Read Thanks To A Wonderful New System Known As 'broil' . . . I'm Sorry, I'll Just Feel That Again.

I Saw An Advertisement The Other Day For The Secret Of Life. It Said "the Secret Of Life Can Be Yours For Twenty-five Shillings. Sent To Secret Of Life Institute, Willesden." So I Wrote Away, Seemed A Good Bargain, Secret Of Life, Twenty-five Shillings. And I Got A Letter Back Saying, "if You Think You Can Get The Secret Of Life For Twenty-five Shillings, You Don't Deserve To Have It. Send Fifty Shillings For The Secret Of Life."

I've Had Some Wonderful Ideas For Getting The Dominating Going. I've Got Some Extremely Subtle Advertising Slogans That Should Get The Public Behind Us. Things Like "vote For El Wisty And Lovely Nude Ladies Will Come And Dance With You." It's A Complete Lie, Of Course, But You Can't Afford To Be Too Scrupulous If You're Going To Dominate The World.

Job Was What You'd Technically Describe As A Loony.