As Time Goes On, The More I

The Other Day My Twelve-year-old Says To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You Right Now. You're In The Car With Me, You're Checking Your E-mail, You're Not Listening To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You. And I Say, You Know What? That Was Your Mother's Gripe, Too. And She Was Right. And You're Also Correct. When You Cop To Something, You Get To The Next Level. In This Case, The Next Level Is: I Just Learned Something From My Twelve-year-old.

My Dad's Like, If Your Mom And I Are Having Sex And We Videotape It And She Falls Out Of Bed Funny, Can I Win Ten-thousand Dollars?

Sometimes I Wish I Hadn't Said Something Foolish. It Is Then That I Realize The Power Of Mime.

I Have The Brain Of A German Shepherd And The Body Of A 16-year-old Boy; They’re Both In My Car And I Want You To See Them

It Was A Job; The Video Show Was A Job; You Don't Tell The Aristocrats Joke At 8 O'clock At Night On Network Tv, It Would Be Funny Though. But Those Guys Know I Like Dirty Stuff, I Like Clean Stuff Too.