As You Get Older You Realize Your

From The Minute We're Born, Boys And Girls Stare At Each Other, Trying To Figure Out If They Like What They See. Like Parade Lines, Passing Each Other For Mutual Inspection. You March, You Look. You March, You Look. If You're Interested, You Stop And Talk, And If It Doesn't Work Out, You Just Get Back In The Parade. You Keep Marching, And You Keep Looking.

The First Time I Tried To Put A New Diaper On My Baby, I Yanked The Little Velcro Strap Too Jerkily And Actually Punched The Little Guy In The Jaw. A Real Solid Shot, Too. I Knew Instinctively That This Could Not Be Correct. Unless You're Specifically Trying To Raise A Welterweight, Continual Deliverance Of Powerful Uppercuts Is Not Advised When Handling Newborns.

I'd Never Directed Before And This Movie's Too Important To Me To Put In The Hands Of Some Guy Who Has Never Directed. Even If It's Me

When You're In @#*!#-ing Hell, Your Forehead Can Feel A Wee Bit Feverish. (by The Way, That's The Way My Wife Actually Curses. She Doesn't Use Dirty Words; She'll Literally Say "asterisk, Pound Sign, Exclamation Point, The-letter-'a'-with-a-circle-around-it, Asterisk, Asterisk, Asterisk.")

Middle Names Are Kind Of Like Vice Presidents: It's A Fine Distinction And Certainly An Honor, But You're Never Not Aware That Someone Else Got The Real Job.