As You Go Down The Path Of

Face The Fact That There's Only One Sure-fire Way To Erase Credit Card Debt. By Picking Up A Big, Shiny Pair Of Scissors And Cutting Your Wife In Half.

Just Because Your Tattoo Has Chinese Characters In It Doesn't Make You Spiritual. It's Right Above The Crack Of Your Ass, And It Translate To Beef With Broccoli. The Last Time You Did Anything Spiritual, You Were Praying To God You Weren't Pregnant. You're Not Spiritual. You're Just High.

Last Week, I Suggested The Candidates Take Up Mushrooms. I'll Be Damned If Rick Perry Didn't Take Me Up On That.

Life Is About Making Tough Choices. Sometimes You Have To Go Where Your Career Is Going.

I Said Something Recently About How The President [barak Obama] Should Stop Trying To Placate The Crazies And The Right Wing And The Republicans And Stand Up For The 70 Percent Of Americans Who Are Not Insane And Stand Up For The People Who Actually Voted For You. That Hit A Real Nerve.