Ascot Is So Exclusive That It Is

If You Attack The Establishment Long Enough And Hard Enough, They Will Make You A Member Of It.

Sharing Our Depressions Felt Like Having Survived A War. The Experience Bonds You To The Other Person For Life.

The Reason I Don't Play Golf Is Because I Was A Caddie When I Was 13. Women Never Gave Up A Golf Ball That Was Lost Somewhere In The Trees And Thicket And Down Through The Poison Ivy. It Was During One Of These Searches That I Vowed To The Lord Above That If I Ever Earned Enough Money I Would Never Set Foot On A Course Again.

This Is A Wonderful Way To Celebrate An 80th Birthday... I Wanted To Be 65 Again, But They Wouldn't Let Me - Homeland Security.

Over The Years I Have Met A Lot Of Important People, But No One As Important As Elvis Presley.