Attack Life, It's Going To Kill You

A Mother Needs To Be In The Home Even When The Kids Aren’t. A Messy House Sends A Coded Message To Children: “i’m Not Loveable. Otherwise Mother Would Dust.

When Meeting Royalty, It Is Very Important, No Matter How Excited You Are, Not To Vomit On Them. Instead, Vomit On The Nearest Commoner.

America Used To Live By The Motto "father Knows Best." Now We're Lucky If "father Knows He Has Children." We've Become A Nation Of Sperm Donors And Baby Daddies.

Atheism, A Religion Dedicated To Its Own Sense Of Smug Superiority.

Now I Don't Know Why He's Denying Them Habeas Corpus. I Can Only Assume The Guys They Got Detained Over There Did Something Really Unforgivable. Like Remind Obama He Was Once A Professor Of Constitutional Law.