Bacon Is Like The Opposite Of Medicine.

Actually, The Reason I Look Like This Is Because My Father Was From Sweden And My Mother Was Elton John.

That's My Private Business. Besides, The Perception Is That People That Believe In God Are Stupid.

The Whole Idea Of Comedy, There Is Nothing Normal About Going Up On Stage To Make Strangers Laugh. But I'm Also Not An Exhibitionist Like Other Comics. I'm Not Up There Talking About Masturbating.

Once You Put Bacon Into A Salad It's No Longer A Salad, It Just Becomes A Game Of Find The Bacon In The Lettuce. It's Like You're Panning For Gold, Hmmmmm, Eureka!

I Recently Bought Extreme Chunky Peanut Butter. I Opened It Up.. .it Was Just Peanuts. Wow That Is Extreme!