Baptists Are Only Funny Underwater.

If You Can Go Through Life Without Experiencing Pain You Probably Haven't Been Born Yet.

I Got Brown Sandwiches And Green Sandwiches. Its Either Very New Cheese Or Very Old Meat. - Oscar Madison, From The Odd Couple

Money Brings Some Happiness. But After A Certain Point, It Just Brings More Money.

People With Honorary Awards Are Looked Upon With Disfavor. Would You Let An Honorary Mechanic Fix Your Brand-new Mercedes?

Goldie Hawn Is Funny, Sexy, Beautiful, Talented, Intelligent, Warm, And Consistently Sunny. Other Than That, She Doesn't Impress Me At All.