Barack Obama Now Says He Is Open

President Obama Told A Group Of School Children That Broccoli Was His Favorite Food, And They Believed Him. Then He Told Them Obamacare Would Reduce The Deficit And The Kids All Busted Out Laughing.

It Seems The Journal Of Neurology Reports That The Longer You Smoke, The Less Likely You Are To Develop Parkinson's Disease. So What Are They Telling Us? Follow Me Guys. Remember, A Couple Of Months Ago, Doctors Said Drinking A Glass Of Alcohol Every Day Was Good For Your Heart. Smoking Prevents Parkinson's Disease. Marijuana Is Good For Glaucoma. Sex Is Good For Your Prostate. You Know, Screw Health Care. Let's Party!

President Obama Is Asking Congress To Support A Military Strike In Syria. If They Approve, It Will Be The First Time Congress Has Officially Declared War Since Obamacare.

San Francisco Hosted The First Medical Marijuana Job Fair. The Keynote Speech Was Titled, 'jobs And How To Avoid Getting One.'

Yesterday Gary Condit Spent The Whole Day Attending An Agricultural Meeting. Boy, That's When You Know A Congressman's In Real Trouble: When He Spends The Whole Day Actually Working.