Barack Obama Said Today That Politics Has

Congratulations To Mexico. They Upset Brazil To Win A Gold Medal In Men's Soccer. And After The Olympics Ended, The Mexican Soccer Team, Of Course, Returned Home To Their Houses Here In Los Angeles.

In A Speech Earlier Today President Bush Said If Iraq Gets Rid Of Saddam Hussein, He Will Help The Iraqi People With Food, Medicine, Supplies, Housing, Education - Anything That's Needed. Isn't That Amazing? He Finally Comes Up With A Domestic Agenda - And It's For Iraq. Maybe We Could Bring That Here If It Works Out.

Now, Today Is The Day We Honor, Of Course, The Presidents, Ranging From George Washington, Who Couldn't Tell A Lie, To George Bush, Who Couldn't Tell The Truth, To Bill Clinton, Who Couldn't Tell The Difference.

Remember The Good Old Days When The Only Bomb You Had To Worry About On A Plane Was The Rob Schneider Movie?

65% Of People Say That Cheating On Your Income Tax Is Worse Than Cheating On Your Spouse. The Other 35% Were Women.