Be Careful Of Men Who Are Bald

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

All Men Are Afraid Of Eyelash Curlers. They Don't Understand Them, And They Don't Want To Get Near Them. I Sleep With One Under My Pillow, Instead Of A Gun.

Men Who Drink Herbal Teas Are Seldom Serial Killers.

Husband: A Man Who Buys His Football Tickets Four Months In Advance And Waits Until The Day Before His Anniversary To Buy His Wife A Gift.

Some Women Hold Up Dresses That Are So Ugly And They Always Say The Same Thing: 'this Looks Much Better On.' On What? On Fire?