Because We Were A Poor Area, The

When I Hear A Person Talking About Political Solutions, I Know I Am Not Listening To A Serious Person.

I Noticed That All The Prayers I Used To Offer To God, And All The Prayers I Now Offer To Joe Pesci, Are Being Answered At About The Same 50% Rate. Half The Time I Get What I Want, Half The Time I Don't... Same As The Four-leaf Clover And The Horseshoe...same As The Voodoo Lady Who Tells You Your Fortune By Squeezing The Goat's Testicles, It's All The Same: 50-50. So Just Pick Your Superstition, Sit Back, Make A Wish, And Enjoy Yourself.

It's Legal For Men To Be Floorwalkers And Illegal For Women To Be Streetwalkers.

I Didn't Wash Today. I Wasn't Dirty. If I'm Not Dirty, I Don't Wash. Some Weeks I Don't Have To Shower At All. I Just Groom My Three Basic Areas: Teeth, Hair, And Asshole. And To Save Time, I Use The Same Brush.

Instead Of Thinking About The Sex, I'd Always Think About The Clap And The Crabs Those People Have.