Bp Has Put More Birds In Oil

President Bush Announced He Has A Five-point Strategy For Getting Out Of Iraq. Points Six Through 10 Will Be Handled By The Kerry Administration.

An Anthropologist At Tulane Has Just Come Back From A Field Trip To New Guinea With Reports Of A Tribe So Primitive That They Have Tide But Not New Tide With Lemon-fresh Borax.

Newt Gingrich's Campaign Is Broke. All The Money Gone. So Now He's Charging $50 For A Photo. And For $100 You Can Marry Him.

Experts Say That Iraq May Have Nuclear Weapons. That's Bad News - They May Have A Nuclear Bomb. Now The Good News Is That They Have To Drop It With A Camel.

Holyfield Won The Fight. It's Not The First Time Romney Has Been Knocked Out By A Black Guy.