But Then, Like George Michael In A

The Only People I Owe An Apology To Are My Dead Parents. Except My Father Because He's Still Alive.

The Only Thing Worse Than Dating A Single Mom Is Dating A Single Mom That Won't Put Out.

You Don't Mess With Janitors, First Of All, They Have Like 40 Keys, And 1 Is To A Closet You Don't Want To Be Inside Of.

Why He Would Agree To Install An Eight-by-eight-foot Fish Tank And Then Not Fill It With A Single Dolphin Made Me Want To Burn His Eyebrows Off.

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. Please Get Me Out Of Jail And I Promise I Will Never Drink Again. Drink And Drive. I Will Never Drink And Drive Again. I May Even Start My Own Group Fashioned After Madd, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, But I'll Call It Awltdash, Alcoholics Who Like To Drink And Stay Home.