But We Are What We Are, And

When I Go To An Art Gallery And Stand In Front Of A Painting, I Don't Want Someone Telling Me What I Should Be Seeing Or Thinking; I Want To Feel Whatever I Feel, See Whatever I See, And Figure Out What I Figure Out.

On The Other Couch A Women Sits With A Young Boy Looking Through A Picture Book About Babar The Elephant. When I Find A Magazine And I Lean Back To Start Reading It, I Can See The Women Watching Me Out Of The Corner Of Her Eye. She Moves Closer To The Child And She Leans Over And Kisses His Forehead. I Know Why She Does It And I Don't Blame Her.

Sleep Is Still Difficult I Sleep For Three Or Four Hours A Day. Usually Sometime In The Afternoon. I Walk In The Cold, Keep Myself Numb. I Cry Less, And Less." (james Frey, Pg.88)

The Way America Works, And The Way L.a. Works, Is A Very Small Percentage Of People Get What They Want Out Of Life, And A Much Greater Percentage Try Very Very Hard And They Don't. That's Just The Way It Is.

I Close My Eyes And I Take A Deep Breath And I Think About My Life And How I Ended Up This Way. I Think About The Ruin, Devastation And Wreckage I Have Caused To Myself And To Others. I Think About Self-hatred And Self-loathing. I Think About How And Why And What Happened And The Thoughts Come Easily, But The Answers Don't.