Buy A Pup And Your Money Will

When You're Wounded And Left On Afghanistan's Plains, And The Women Come Out To Cut Up What Remains, Jest Roll To Your Rifle And Blow Out Your Brains And Go To Your Gawd Like A Soldier.

Call A Truce, Then, To Our Labors - Let Us Feast With Friends And Neighbors, And Be Merry As The Custom Of Our Caste; For If ''faint And Forced The Laughter,'' And If Sadness Follow After, We Are Richer By One Mocking Christmas Past.

I Am By Nature A Dealer In Words, And Words Are The Most Powerful Drug Known To Humanity.

What Is A Woman That You Forsake Her, And The Hearth-fire And The Home-acre, To Go With The Old Grey Widow-maker?

Payday Came And With It Beer