By The Time I Was Ready For

I Always Just Forced Myself To Do Crazy Things In Public. In College I Would Push An Overhead Projector Across Campus With My Pants Just Low Enough To Show My Butt. Then My Friend Would Incite The Crowd To Be Like, 'look At That Idiot!' That's How I Got Over Being Shy.

Facebook Is Like Jail, You Sit Around And Waste Time, You Write On Walls And You Get Poked By People You Don't Know

I Guess Ultimately A Lot Of Comedians Just Wanna Be Taken Seriously.

A Lot Of The Times You Read Something And You Don't Realize That You Are Going To Have To Do The Things That You Read.

I Was So Drunk, I Thought A Tube Of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.