Civilised Adults Do Not Take Apple Juice

Your Grandparents Did Not Endure The Indignities Of A Steerage Journey To Ellis Island So That You Could Stand Outside A Discothèque And Beg A Wallpaper Designer To Take You In With Him.

I've Never Seen The Kardashians; I'm Not Sure Who They Are. But I Know A Lot About Them Because It's Impossible Not To.

I Used To Buy All My Shirts At Brooks Brothers, But That Was Completely Ruined About 20 Years Ago. They Discontinued The Shirt I Liked. If I Had Only Known This - I Mean, If You're Going To Discontinue An Item That Thousands And Thousands Of People Buy, Announce It. Say, 'we Will No Longer Be Making Our Excellent Brooks Brothers Cotton Shirts That We Made For 5,000 Years. We're Going To Change Them In Some Awful Way. We're Alerting You So You Can Buy A Lifetime Supply.' Shirts Don't Go Bad, They're Not Peaches.

Writing Is So Hard. Why Would You Be A Writer If You Weren't Really Good At It? If You Could Be Anything Else, Why Would You Be A Writer?

Commercials And Sometimes Other Guests - It's The Down Side Of Tv. Other People - It's The Downside Of Life In General.