Cnn Said That After The War, There

I Always Tell New People In Show Business. I Say, "look, Show Business Pays You A Lot Of Money, Because Eventually You're Gonna Get Screwed. And When You Get Screwed, You Will Have This Pile Of Money Off To The Side Already." And They Go, "ok, Ok. Ok, You Ready? You Ready?" "i Got Screwed." "you Got The Pile Of Money?" "yeah, I'm Fine." I Mean, That's The Way It Works.

The French Announced Today That They Would Not Help Us Remove Saddam From Iraq. Well Duh! They Didn't Even Help Us Remove Hitler From France.

A Number Of Plastic Surgeons Are Claiming That Looking At John Kerry Now, As Opposed To A Few Months Ago, They Believe He's Had Botox Shots. They Claim A Number Of His Worry Lines Have Vanished. They Haven't Vanished, Just Howard Dean Is Wearing Them Now.

You Know What They Say When A Supermodel Gets Pregnant? Now She's Eating For One.

This Is A Strange Country We Live In. When It Comes To Electing A President, We Get Two Choices. But When We Have To Select A Miss America, We Get 50.