Comedians Are The One Who Have To

Smart Is Knowing If You're Dumb. Knowing When To Shut Up And To Listen To People That Are Smarter Than You.

Gay People Got A Right To Be As Miserable As Everybody Else.

My Mother Is The Kind Of Woman You Don't Want To Be In Line Behind At The Supermarket. She Has Coupons For Coupons.

I've Been Married For 10 Years And, You Know, It's Hard, You Spruce It Up And You Go Places. How Do You Spruce Up Anything? Artificially. You Go Places And Do Things.

When You Die At 72, No Matter What You Die Of, It's Natural Causes. Even If You Get Hit By A Truck, It's Natural Causes. 'cause If You Was Younger, You'd Have Got Out The Way!