Comedy Is In My Blood. Too Bad

I Once Went Out With This Wild Girl. She Made French Toast And Got Her Tongue Caught In The Toaster.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.

I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me, The Only Thing The Parrot Knows How To Say Is, Quick Out The Window.

Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip My Face Off. He Thought It Was A Mask. Now It's Different When I Open The Door The Kids Hand Me Candy.

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.