Comedy Is Tragedy Plus Time.

Because Nobody Goes Through Life Without A Scar.

I Can't Tell A Joke To Save My Soul. It's Just Not My Thing, Though I Love To Listen To Jokes.

Before You Go To Bed, Write Down Three 'gratefuls' For The Day And Three 'did Wells' (they Can Even Include Something As Simple As Doing The Laundry)-the Results Can Be Amazing!

Originally, I Came From Texas, And We Lived On - I Guess You'd Call It Welfare, What We Called Relief.

If You Want To Know The Feeling [of Labor Pain], Just Take Your Bottom Lip And Pull It Over Your Head.