Creator: A Comedian Whose Audience Is Afraid

Wife: A Former Sweetheart.

Before A Man Speaks It Is Always Safe To Assume That He Is A Fool. After He Speaks, It Is Seldom Necessary To Assume It.

There Is No Idea So Stupid That You Can't Find A Professor Who Will Believe It.

As Long As You Represent Me As Praising Alcohol I Shall Not Complain.

Pastor: One Employed By The Wicked To Prove To Them By His Example That Virtue Doesn't Pay.