Deep Frying A Twinkie Makes It Healthy,

My Children Have Made Me A Better Man, Which Is - In The End, That's Probably More Important Than Two More Comedy Specials Or Being In Better Shape.

Jesus If You Could Cure Our Son's Blindness That'd Be Great... And We'd Love Some Shelves Over There.

When I'm In Touch With The Idea That There Is A Higher Power And That There Is, You Know, Other Factors At Work, It - It Kind Of Quells My Narcissism.

I'm A Comedian, Which Is The Opposite Of A Lifestyle That Equips You To Be A Parent.

My Kids Are So Dramatically Different, But It's Not Like I Would Trade One In Or Like There's One I Would Pick Over The Other Ones. I Know That Sounds Like I'm Bullshitting. I Also Have Five Of Them So I Barely Know Them.