Did It Ever Occur To Anyone That

I Used To Rent A House In Princeton, New Jersey, And Whenever People Came To Visit Me, I Would Drive Them Past Albert Einstein's House, Which Is The Most Ordinary House In Princeton - A House, Let Me Assure You, That Now A Salesman Wouldn't Live In. I'd Always Say, "that Was Albert Einstein's House." And They'd Say, "what Do You Mean? Why Would Albert Einstein Live In A Little House Like That?" And I'd Always Say To People, "because He Didn't Care!"

Do Not Approach With Anything Even Resembling Assurance A Restaurant That Moves.

One Of The Biggest Changes In My Lifetime, Is The Phenomenon Of Men Wearing Shorts. Men Never Wore Shorts When I Was Young. This Is One Of The Worst Changes, By Far. It's Disgusting. To Have To Sit Next To Grown Men On The Subway In The Summer, And They're Wearing Shorts? They Look Ridiculous, Like Children, And I Can't Take Them Seriously. My Fashion Advice, Particularly To Men Wearing Shorts: Ask Yourself, 'could I Make A Living Modeling These Shorts?' If The Answer Is No, Then Change Your Clothes. Put On A Pair Of Pants.

Any Child Who Cannot Do Long Division By Himself Does Not Deserve To Smoke.

I Place A High Moral Value On The Way People Behave. I Find It Repellent To Have A Lot, And To Behave With Anything Other Than Courtesy In The Old Sense Of The Word - Politeness Of The Heart, A Gentleness Of The Spirit.