Do You Still Kill Gerbils?

Drosophila,” I Said, Remembering The Word. “what?” Lily Asked. “why Do Girls Always Fall For Guys With The At Ention Span Of Drosophila?” “what?” “fruit Flies. Guys With The Attention Span Of Fruit Flies.” “because They’re Hot?” “this,” I Told Her, “is Not The Time For Being Truthful.

I Love Snow For The Same Reason I Love Christmas: It Brings People Together While Time Stands Still. Cozy Couples Lazily Meandered The Streets And Children Trudged Sleds And Chased Snowballs. No One Seemed To Be In A Rush To Experience Anything Other Than The Glory Of The Day, With Each Other, Whenever And However It Happened.

You Know The Reason The Beatles Made It So Big?...'i Wanna Hold Your Hand.' First Single....brilliant. Perhaps The Most...brilliant Song Ever Written. Because They Nailed It. That's What Everyone Wants. Not 24/7 Hot Wet Sex. Not A Marriage That Lasts A Hundred Years. Not A Porsche...or A Million-dollar Crib. No. They Wanna Hold Your Hand. They Have Such A Feeling That They Can't Hide. Every Single Successful Song Of The Past Fifty Years Can Be Traced Back To 'i Wanna Hold Your Hand.' And Every Single Successful Love Story Has Those Unbearable And Unbearably Exciting Moments Of Hand-holding.

Life Is Funny, Baby, And That's No Joke

No One Would Want To Read A Book In Which I Explain The Science Of Cloning Because It Would Be Very Dull And It Would Also Make No Sense.