Don't Die Until You're Dead.

Honestly Some Folk Will Take Offence At Anything, I Met A Bloke With No Legs This Morning While At The Bus Stop, All I Asked Was "how Are You Getting On?"

I Worry About Ridiculous Things, You Know, How Does A Guy Who Drives A Snowplough Get To Work In The Morning. ... That Can Keep Me Awake For Days.

I Think Comedy Is Difficult, And I'm Amazed So Many People Want To Do It. I'll Be Buying Jeans And Somebody Will Say, "i'm A Comedian" - The Guy Selling You The Jeans. The Desire To Be A Comedian Is Weird. I Found It Weird Myself To Want To Be One; I Was A Schoolboy When I Wanted To Be One But I Didn't Know How To Do It. That Was 50 Years Ago, So Times Have Changed Greatly. There Seems To Be A Long Line Of People Desperate To Do It And Most Of Them Are Quite Good.

Politically Correct Is The Language Of Cowardice.

When I Read 'be Real, Don't Get Caught Acting,' I Thought, 'how The Hell Do You Do That?'.