Don't Jump On A Man Unless He

Th' Dead Ar-re Always Pop'lar. I Knowed A Society Wanst To Vote A Monyment To A Man An' Refuse To Help His Fam'ly, All In Wan Night.

No, Sir, Th' Dimmycratic Party Ain't On Speakin' Terms With Itsilf. Whin Ye See Two Men With White Neckties Go Into A Sthreet Car An' Set In Opposite Corners While Wan Mutthers Thraiter An' Th' Other Hisses Miscreent Ye Can Bet They're Two Dimmycratic Leaders Thryin' To Reunite Th' Gran' Ol' Party.

A Fanatic Is A Man That Does What He Thinks The Lord Would Do If He Knew The Facts Of The Case.

The Only Good Husbands Stay Bachelors: They're Too Considerate To Get Married.

When The American People Get Through With The English Language, It Will Look As If It Had Been Run Over By A Musical Comedy.